jake-benge: rumblefishx: I live by the beach and this little guy just popped by for a visit  EXCUSE ME Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord, Poseidon? 

blazeberg:

Tell a girl she has nice eyebrows and she’ll suck your dick right then and there

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My therapist set half a glass of water in front of me. He asked me if I was an optimist or a pessimist. So I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver.

(via psychcomedy)
a-therapeutic-chain-of-events: Hysterical 
  • Sext: I kiss you deeply as I lay you back gently on the bed, my hands roaming up your thighs, palms are sweaty, knees weak arms spaghetti

illkim:

Turn-ons: Boys

Interests: Boys

Hobbies: Boys

Dislikes: Boys

kateperrys:

remember when

image

but then

image

remember

send-in-the-clowns: you never understood pain as a child ‘til you had to sit on the floor in between ya mamas legs while she yanked ya hair up into these little shits and the ball part snapped against ya skull  i have dents in my cranium 

How rape trials should go?

  • Lawyer: Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
  • Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
  • Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes, but-
  • Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes.
  • Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
  • Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.
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  • parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
  • me: well they turned into a cunt